Hi

He said “hello” to me today.
I thought I’d choke.
And I did. But I didn’t die.
Nor did I try.
I got caught up in the moment.
In the fantasy.
I say we need to analyze.
We need to philosophize.
But at a loss of words, I lose all meaning.
Confusing my lies for my eyes.
I know how to walk, but I chose to crawl.
In favor of taking in every detail along the way.
Seeing every crack, and imagining it mirrored in the sky.
The world’s a cold dead place. Full of holes. With no meaning.
But I confuse these lines from ones I’ve drawn.
From the scars and the faded memories,
From when I’m alone because I’m too choked up,
To say “hello.”

Someday soon I might find the curt to reply.
To return the favor.
But in the way I live,
Someday soon, might be the day after I die.
Instead of analyzing the reasons to try.
(Oh and you know I have them too, listed and organized,
From best to worst, and every one a reason to have never left your side)
Leaving behind an awkward stance, and downward glance.
It is miles before I find myself alone, feigning sleep in order to write these lines.
But I tread them daily, each new thought of you a motivation to take one step forward.
Where I find myself as a loss of mind, I find I’ve left you and your words,
Hanging in the air, several years and a room away.

Quantum theory teaches us that it's not against the law if you don't get caught.

Reasons for not posting recently:
- Will not be going to grad school this next sem.
- A week behind in classes.
- Several weeks behind in honors course.
- Been very sick.
- Lost his job.

Because I am not ready to talk about the above, I thought I'd just slowly post poetry on here, some old, some new, most not marked as new or old.

Thank You.

Thank you for giving me this suicidal romance.

A kiss from the lips of a mystic.

Thank you for shedding a tear on the grace of God.

"Here we mourn our father."

Thank you for giving me this rose.

Huxley denied want, I denied life.

Thank you for being a fallen star.

I wished you down, and was set ablaze.

Thank you for letting me cry at your funeral.
And for not being offended when it was all in my head.